You know I’ve been avoiding this question because honestly I didn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t think of any one person that I felt continuously lets me down. I mean of course people do things that hurt me or disappoint me but it’s not something that I hold against them, and I think the reason for that is the fact that I always turn it around on myself. So yeah, there is someone who continuously lets me down and that’s myself. I expect so much out of myself and I can get so angry at myself when I fall short and don’t succeed. And let’s be honest, when something is upsetting you or doesn’t go the way you want who can you truly blame other then yourself? You’re the only one that can make yourself happy, so why put expectations on people that you can put upon yourself?

What am I doing? I’m angry. This is what I didn’t want! And the only person I can blame is myself. This has to change. I want more then just this. You are supposed to be my best friend so why does it feel like I don’t know you. And I’m trying to keep building on what we were starting to have but you can be so a jerk! But I can’t just sit around and think and analyze. I work so much better when I come up with a plan. So I will. Because if anything breaks us it’s going to be this. I let this happen, so I’ll be the one to fix it. I won’t let it get any worse.